It's not too late

Just get up
It's not too late to read, to write
or to right some wrongs
to sing some songs

there's still time, you still have it
so get up- it's not too late to walk, to run, to play,
or to breathe in that yogic way
this moment will be lost- just grab it

It's not too late to talk to old friends,
make amends
to start a new trend,
to make new habits and shed old ones

It's not too late to be better,
to be a go-getter;
to be kinder, gentler and compassionate
it's too early to succumb to your fate

It's not too late to cherish
the time you have with your loved ones,
not too late to hug,  to smile and be like how you were once

It's never too late for some inspiration,
for some motivation to move up from where you are
start something new or do some good at where you are.

It's important to know that every moment is a gift,
Relax, sleep, feel good and get up
every breath you draw is an opportunity too
It's never too late to just- Do. 

Where does your toothbrush go?

Of course in your mouth- and then maybe on the toothbrush stand.

But where does it go once you are done with it? Since dentists recommend changing your toothbrush every 6 months and you are let's say 30 years old for arguments sake where are your 60 toothbrushes? and where do all the collective millions and millions of toothbrushes land up from your neighborhood, and your town and state and country and all countries together? Can you imagine the thick plastic, rubber coated (for firm grip) toothbrush floating on the ocean surface far far away? I can.

Anyway- enough about toothbrushes- let's talk about shampoo bottles, and facewashes and moisturizing bottles, nail polish bottles, dirty diapers, sanitary pads. Just kidding- though it just may not be that funny.

Only mankind can be as silly as to inculcate ‘out-of-sight out-of-mind’ in day to day waste management. It's a miracle of our mother planet that we're not choking to death already or maybe my fellow-citizens from Delhi may beg (cough) to differ.

Space mission- #lifesavingidea for SpaceX's Mr.Elon Musk and others- Instead of looking at other ‘habitable’ planets in the universe-maybe we should concentrate on the one that we know and already inhabitate. A genius idea struck me recently while reading a horrifying article on how some countries think it’s okay to dump their toxic waste on other less equipped countries, endangering the local human and wildlife population. Maybe instead of sending more and more satellites up in the space, we should find a better way to send waste in the space and dump it on another inhabitable planet.

Don’t worry about finding life there- if at all there is-maybe we will have an alien invasion in retaliation of the garbage dumping!

In Indian mythology- it’s easy to find answers to almost every problem (Those wise sages!) A yug is a long long long era of many years. The sages have explained that the 4 types of work forces(also known as castes) will be most influential in different phases within a yug in a cyclic manner. 

The first phase is when the intellectuals are the ones wielding most power- hence the stories of gurus and rishis to relatively modern times of renaissance.

After that it would be the Warriors that would then be most important sect of the society. A warrior wages wars, expands territory and protects the people (circa age of the vikings to age of kings, emperors and empires).  

Then once territorial disputes have settled so much, is where currency would rule and businessmen and business owners would be major policy makers and drive growth on the planet. 

The last phase of any group is where the people who clean will rule. The age of cleanliness and waste management. I think we are about to enter the last phase- where clean water, air and land are our biggest concern- or atleast should be.

While, we spoke about space tech and ancient wisdom- it is required neither to make a significant difference.

1. Make the Effort- Separate your Dry trash from Wet. There is no magical elf 'out there' doing that for you. Set up Dry and Wet trash bags in home AND at your workplace and MAKE IT WORK. Get your cleaning staff on board to help 

2. Reuse, Recycle- Try to Reuse. The toothbrush becomes a tile cleaner and then the plastic part helps get the string in your pajamas. No shame in re-using and recycling. Recycling is no magic trick where your toothbrush suddenly converts to polythene bags. 

3. Try going Natural- Use cloth instead of plastic. When Maharashtra govt. banned plastic for a week- everybody was more than happy to carry their own utensils to buy milk and Dahi. Too bad we have no discipline- it could have been a splendid success. Try to avoid throwaways. Use sustainable, reusable material for your daily work. 

4. Talk about it. It's very important to keep up the tempo and get more and more people on this task.

If we don't- we are not doing justice to the people whom we have brought to this planet ( aka children- the future generation) and all they will have to do is clean up the MESS you've left behind you. Figuratively and Literally! 

Let's do what we can. While we can. 

Free as the wind

Do the mighty winds get lost in the mountains?
Confused and trapped, guided by the treacherous terrains

Once in time the winds were free as the mind-
Now are tamed and yet less kind

While the mountains stand unchanged, tall and prime

The winds shape them nevertheless, one grain of sand at a time

How to write ?

How can I write if I never write ? The general human tendency is to do things right. Also to not to do things that may not turn out as planned/imagined. It's only natural.
But not writing for the fear of not writing right itself isn't right.
So, how to write ?
The answer is- just right. (write!).

"Excuse me, where can I get some Work-Life Balance?"

These days, which I'm sure is a phase(hopefully!), which I'm sure a lot of successful men and women have been through (hoping to join ranks), I find myself working full time. I mean full-time, all the time. Even in my dreams. I have to wake up, do a reality check to see what all 'actually' happened and needs work. I have lost interest in WhatsApp groups long back, Facebook doesn't social network with me anymore, as for my friends, I've probably fallen off the face of the Earth for all they know. But you know what is the real problem ? The real problem is that I like it !!
This intense work where I'm just completely involved, committed, drowned and drenched top to bottom in things to do and I love it. It's like I'm addicted.
So whatever happened to Work-Life balance ? What balance.
While I'm going full throttle after my rush and high, what happens to my kid?
Yes, I have a kid.
Who takes care of her ? My husband.
Anything wrong with that? No.
If I were a guy and my wife would have looked after my kid- would that have been a problem? Absolutely Not.

Should there be something wrong with this picture?
See- now you get my problem.

How do I love my work the way I do and love my family the way I do?
What IS work life balance ? When does that happen?

9 hours of work + 2 hours of travel + 7 hours sleep = 18 hours

So does 'life balance' part of the equation supposed to crammed in the remaining 6 hours?
Should include workout, cooking, eating, cleaning up, laundry, organising because apparently all that is important for the LIFE part to exist.

Where do you get to take your kid to the park or to play some ball? If your Saturday is working - again forget it. When do you get to meet your friends? Is that not life ?

Are we working too hard? Are we used to working too hard and liking it ? For others who don't like it - how do they keep up with this mandate? Are we only making a big noise of it now, while other have been working like this forever ?

I would love the system French have recently adopted- but that's not going to happen anytime soon here in India. Would also love my siestas, but now it's great if I can get a full night's uninterrupted sleep.

Suggestions welcome on how to be great at work and at home at the same time, because I sure haven't cracked the code yet !!

Lifecycle of a Social Butterfly

'Phulpakhru' - A free beautiful butterfly, fluttering its delicate feathers in the wind, going from one colorful flowers to the next,  in its own rhythm. This is the exact life of children. Free and Happy.

As we grow up, we cocoon ourselves, our wings weary and weak- enter into our own worlds. Busy with our own lives, we do not have the patience, energy or inclination to go from one flower to the other- losing the rhythm we had with nature. We are wrapped in our own frequency of our own world and actions around us.

And then we get old enough. We chew those carefully constructed barriers away and no one can even recognise us as the same colorful free butterfly that glided from one flower to the other with such agility.

We are not in our cocoon anymore. We can once again see the world loud and clear. With world wise eyes, we see every one bustling away to their businesses, colorful butterflies onto their adventures and we chew. Chew on the leaves. The nectar of flowers is not for us anymore. We wait for people to approach us rather than flitting like a social butterfly from one to the other. And when they come, we nurture them with the stories and wisdom we need to pass before we go.

And then when the time comes- we zero in ourselves- withdraw into an egg, waiting to be a vivid colorful butterfly again.

Fighting in front of the kids !!

Atul stormed out of the house and Paru was just left staring at the shut door.

She was so frustrated and angry - "Why can't I slam the door and just leave to 'take a walk'!? . Why do I have to be left simmering here on all the residual anger- being a grown up in front of the kids?"

Kids.
She realised - so much had changed since the kids. She remembered the times when it was just them two, and before that when she was single. How carefree was the life, where she wasn't answerable to anyone. Hanging out with the friends, travel plans, shopping trips were all just a text message away. She remembered how for granted was the fact that she can simply BE.

Even later after getting married to her sweet boyfriend things were so nice and special. They would surprise each other with thoughtful gifts. Time and energy would be spent in each other. They had simple arguments and an amazing make-up routine. They would amiably tease each other with silly arguments, and make peace. Looks of understanding would be exchanged. There was no fight that was worth the peace of mind.

So, they just didn't.

After they were blessed with twins, the enormity of the responsibility of two tiny little lives loomed on every small argument and discussion. Everything got extrapolated to the rest of the life and some actions that would otherwise be a rarity, started getting projected as habits to last forever. Sleep deprived, physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted - anyone can crumble under such pressure, let alone two people who've just been handed the most important canvas of their lives.

So, they fought.

They also felt immensely guilty fighting in front of the babies. But dismissed it, naturally thinking that they don't really understand things yet. Still had some time to figure this thing out.

But now the kids were almost 2yo and they were still fighting - even more.

And here- Paru was yet again left staring at the door that was shut in her face. Yet again.

She saw some of the pictures on the mantle, and it almost showed the journey. Happy couple. Beautiful kids. She loved her kids so much. They were such joys and did the funniest of the impressions of each other (literally!).  Her husband was her true love. He was also such a great father. They had distributed chores and responsibilities and he was her 50% partner in truest of all senses.

But these fights were bound to happen. They were not- 'I'm going to divorce you' fights, but certainly left a bitter feeling in the gut. The kids had also started beginning to sense their arguments and sudden change in the atmosphere.

There was no way this was going to be their last argument and yet it was her instinct and duty to not to let this affect the kids negatively any more. Never a believer in bottling up emotions there HAD to be a better way to fight in front of the kids.

So, when Atul finally came home feeling equally guilty, they got talking and listed down a few ground rules for fighting in front of the kids.

1. No name calling.
No matter how angry they got- There would be no name calling. Not for each other or for each other's friends and relatives. No one needs that. It doesn't help anyone and certainly not the person who is doing the name calling.

2. No Extrapolation. 
Just talk about the event that just happened. Not about what will happen 20 years later or how this has always been happening. Try to avoid ALWAYS and NEVER in the arguments. They are NEVER true. Except for in this sentence, that is.

3. Open the senses. 
They both realised that earlier, they used to understand each other and know the real intentions behind the words. Now they would simply attack on the words as they were.
But why did he even say that- used to be a common point of argument. So now- they would go back to listening with eyes and ears and context and not just words.

4. Take a break from the fight.
Taking a break is not always a bad thing. Though, it could be done in a better way- the fact that they had just taken a break from the fight gave both of them something to think about.

5. Say your piece and shut up. 
Give your partner some time to absorb the information/idea/news. They realised that no one needs  to make the entire case right away. People who love each other always want their partners to be happy. Give each other some time to wrap their head around the new brilliant plan.


Just the fact that there were some ground rules at all to this madness made them both feel a bit at ease. Parenting was a tough job and they needed each other and then they lived happily ever after.

Well... kind of.

 (and I really need to wrap this article up before I end up writing a full novella) 

Backpack Babies and Hip Hop Parents

We have all these inspirational quotes we see everyday- at the bottom of the diary page, on other people's whatsapp, on school notice boards, facebook memes, instagram and countless other sources too- Carpe Diem!! Seize the day!  Live in the present! Your life is measured in smiles and people who remember you and so on and ...you get the idea.

Us parents these days are a gullible lot.
We instantly fall for these life marketing fancy words like a kid for candy.
We instantly believe our life will remain unchanged post-baby, as it was pre-baby.
We want to seize the day!! Today.
We try to make an example of ourselves by extra participation in travels, 'weekend getaways', hanging out in the trendy restaurants and any other way to convince ourselves that life is just as cool as it was, as sleep deprived as you may be.

We pack our bags, baby's bags, jars of fresh and cooked baby food, milk bottles, sterliser, baby carriers, booster chair, car seat, diapers, back up diapers, back up back up diapers, emergency medicines, and and other 'equipment' like nebuliser among other essential items that we 'may' need for the baby!

Fresh determination shining in the eyes to successfully enjoy the 'trip', have a 'relaxing' time and come back with about 500 pics posted to Facebook kind of is the theme.

Even if you can feel the satire in my voice, this is really an article I'm writing to actually help you in that brave endeavor you have embarked upon.

It's true that travel means different things for different people. For some it's getting from A to B. For some it's the journey that matters. But for mums- no matter what kind of travel it is- It's all Business.
It's like being the entourage of a super mega rock star- do we have their favorite drink? favorite food? favorite toys? favorite chair? favorite blanket and what not! Do you need water? Need to play? Baby's hungry/needs changing/is bored/is cranky.  Everything else, even the real purpose of the visit, everything is secondary- casually sitting in the back seat of your priorities.

Here are a few tips to make your life on the road with backpack babies- a bit easy:

1. Helpful Husband/Boyfriend/Partner - 
God has been really kind to me there. Not to show off or brag, but I'm just very thankful from the bottom of heart that-  I know I'm good if I'm travelling with my husband. He is the polar opposite of those men who I see sauntering around in airports/hotels, followed by completely kid-harassed wives. Its a mess. Men those who don't help out - You sorry pieces of sh*t - STEP UP ! Women who are married to these unhelpful sods, have 'The Talk'. Ask nicely, Ask nastily, request, threaten, blackmail, reward - whatever it takes- your husband/partner is your first pillar, who needs to step in and step up to make your holiday, and life a bit easier. Or if you can afford it - Travel with help.

2. Travel with Kid Friendly Company- 
Travelling alone with your kids is a big no no. You need to have someone to actually holiday with. Even you and your husband would get tired eventually. So either travel with a kid friendly family or friends who like your kid/s. An ideal scenario will be to travel with people who have kids in a similar age group. If the kids get along well- Jackpot!!
An already frustrated, single friend who hates kids, might not be an ideal company.
Choose your co-travellers carefully.

3. Kid friendly destinations- 
Travel to places where your kid/s will enjoy as much as you do. Have some activities planned around them. If that is not a choice, have engaging toys or tools like crayons etc with you to keep them busy. For longer road trips, keep their favorite videos etc in offline mode.
The resorts/hotels like Mahindra Resorts- specially design entertainment for kids of different age groups. You can think of a membership to such places.
There is no big need to travel to Base Camp of Mt.Everest with your kid in tow. Maybe for later- when they've grown up a bit!

4. Pay attention-
Most importantly - Pay attention. Why are they crying/whining? Are they really tired/hungry/thirsty? or craving attention? Talk to them. Play with them- help them notice interesting things. Play with colors, numbers. Make it engaging for you both/all. Carry food/water and all essentials with you even if you know you'll get it everywhere you go. These small snacks can be life savers.
Don't be a helicopter mom- but make sure you KNOW at ALL times where's your kid at. Keep them away from cliffs and heights and deep waters and strangers that are too friendly. Everyone who's too friendly to your kid should always be aware of your hovering presence and the fact that Mama Bear knows no fear.

We have been travelling a lot since my kid was about 4 months and have had a beautiful experience each time, thanks to some of my learnings as listed above!

Feel free to add more tips/your experiences that make your travel more enjoyable with your little ones! (and doesn't make you pull all your hair out). 

5 Management Lessons from- "Year of Yes"

If you're familiar with the shows 'Grey's Anatomy' or 'Scandal' or 'How to get away with Murder', you may have heard of Shonda Rhimes. 'Grey's Anatomy', being my personal favorite, when I came to know that the creator of that show has written a book- I was naturally curious.
Shonda's book 'Year of Yes' talks about Shonda's personal journey and challenges and is filled with anecdotes with favorite characters from the sets of those shows. In that course Shonda has a lot to share.

5 major lessons I took away from the book.

1. Dreamers are Losers
Yes. Exactly what you read. If you're sitting and dreaming about it, then in all probabilities you're not doing it.
Don't dream. Do.
This is the single most powerful message that I've ever come across.
In romanticism of words we have always been told to 'dream big', or 'dreams of visionaries'. Well. I don't think so. Visionaries would never sit and dream about getting things done. They would just do.
You think you want something. Go get it. Only really lazy people would sit and dream about getting it done. Instead -
Do it. Now.

2. Find your hum
Hum is the word that Shonda gives to what happens when she does the thing she loves doing most.
Doing what you truly love. That's the thing the whole book is about. True love or true calling could be your work, your true passion for something or someone.
There is no shame in true love.
Some people love their work more than play. No shame in that. Some people find true love in doing humanitarian jobs. That's it. Some people find their truest love in their children or their partners.
The object is to find your true love and keep going back to it as much as you can, because there in lies your happiness.
The point is to be happy and the act of true love is the fountain of happiness.
Once you find that ever flowing fountain of happiness- everything else is a piece of cake.

3. Play sustains work
That's right. As much as the high that good work gives you, it's bound to dry up if you don't refuel it. By doing something else.
To relax and have fun eases the intense concentration that is required for any job done well. It's like exercising your muscles and increasing elasticity and capacity. Play is important. Be it movies it travel or sports or gossip or anything that's play for you.

4. Body is not the container for the Brain.
For people in intellectual jobs or businesses, it's probably easy to think that brain is the important bit, and the body is just the container that carries the Brain. However, I think the concept is catching up that in order to do the work that you do, the body too needs to be the machine that doesn't break down. It too needs to be in the pristine shape that you like to keep your work matters in. It takes major major (yes, twice) commitment in carrying it out- in all sorts of circumstances. That is the toughest bit.
Personally I feel, and this part is not in Shonda's book - that how successful you are can be easily measured with how fit are you keeping yourself. It's the only asset you started your life with,  so treat it nice. No need to be skinny or malnutritioned. In realistic terms, it's just a matter of being comfortable in your body. Being able to run a few meters or play some ball without having a heart attack.

5. Yes ? No?
The book itself starts with a challenge that Shonda takes on herself - to say yes to everything she's scared of. And it ends with know the power of No. These are the 2 most powerful words in any language.
Yes and No. A promise and a statement. A commitment and a choice.
A hugely successful person differs from all the others only because of these 2 words. Knowing  when to say Yes or No.
Learn from experience. Use the experience well.

The book has a lot more to say but I found these to be powerful enough to be  life changing.

Do share your thoughts

Top 6 Reasons Why Corporates should Hire more Working Mums

When I was looking for a job, I was warned on social groups about incidents of how new mums wanting to join back the work force are subjected to additional scrutiny because employers feel they may not be the best choice as compared to other equally qualified and experienced candidates.

Here are 6 top reasons why they are EXACTLY the best choice over any other candidate.

1. Yes, we are sure.
Many interviewers ask - Are you Sure?
We have had days and nights- (literally!) to introspect and think about what we want to do. If we are sitting in front of you for an interview, then we have really thought about it and are not simply looking for a place to kill time.

2. Yes, we'll be able to handle it.
If an interviewer is interviewing a new mum- there is a question that is almost constantly reverberating through their brain- 'Will she be able to handle it?' I handled typing up my job application while my toddler was on my shoulders pulling my hair for balance control, didn't I? Imagine what I can do in a normal-not-a-circus environment.

3. Renewed Drive.
Imagine your pet dog in a car.
Whats the picture that comes in your head? A dog with his tongue out, grinning, half out of the window - loving the air in it's face.
Yeah- that's us on our way to work when we start working. Whatever it is, whatever job that you have in mind for us- is surely less stressful than a self destructive toddler bent on 'discovering' things that could very well prove to be toxic or fatal or at least that's what we picture in our heads every 10 seconds.
We work with a renewed drive of someone who can do it all and rock at it, while they're at it !

4. A Dependable Anchor-
Anyone with a strong anchor as a personal life is a dedicated employee. Hello !! Didn't you read/watch "The Firm" ? Not that it has anything to do with your organisation (cheeky grin). But seriously- a person with a huge set of responsibilities at home will always take her job seriously. We can't afford to not to give a damn.

5. No time and no nonsense-
Going back to the 'we'll able to handle it'. Mums are always the no nonsense kinds. We are quick, cut throat and efficient, even when we are being nice :). Isnt that a good thing? We know that we are prepared for whatever curve ball a job or life is going throw at us. Because we know- and we are prepared. You won't see us whiling our time away at the fussball table because we can always stay back and make up for it.
We use the time at work a 1000% and go back home and give a 1000% more.

6. The most elaborate training ever-
For all the people who think taking a break for maternity is a big vacation - I think that break is like a hard core-soft skills training program where you're taught to deal with the toughest boss ever with communication issues and with no sleep. There are actual studies where people have discovered that after being a mum, the brain gets a bit rewired and more aware. Now, why wouldn't you want someone who's more intelligent than before and has even gone through some serious management training?

Dedicating this article to saving some time, money and common sense.